Last week, I took us on a journey of my experience with mental health over the past year or so. It wasn’t the easiest thing for me to write about. In fact, it was quite hard at times to revisit some of my darkest moments out in public. But, honestly, I am really glad I did. The number of people who have reached out to me personally who can relate in some way or who just wanted to connect and show their support was breathtaking to me. Thank you, to each of you for doing so and for joining me along this journey. I deeply appreciate it.
As I mentioned in the post on Friday, I would like to pivot this week to talk about the healing I am experiencing as I continue toward recovery this year. For a few months now I have been on medications that do seem to be helping. I’ve also been improving in my consistency to exercise as I mentioned in a post last week about “green days.” Exercise has always played a critical role in my mental health and it is always the times when I have let it slide that has been when I have had episodes of depression. This, in turn, always makes it so much harder to get back into a consistent habit of exercise. So, I am glad to be making progress on that front.
Back in November when I was raking leaves with the family, I couldn’t help but notice the huge differences I was experiencing inside compared to one year earlier. Of course, I wasn’t fully recovered yet, but it did give me a boost in confidence just to notice the changes I was experiencing in comparison. When I was raking leaves in November of 2019, I felt like I was as dead as the leaves themselves. All I could do was to continue to rake with the last amount of strength I could muster and then I would just start crying because everything felt so incredibly heavy. In 2020, I only experienced a regular amount of dread for the chore. And then I experienced the satisfaction of having completed the job which was wonderful to feel again in that way.
Fast forward through the Christmas and New Year season which had parallel sorts of marked progress. So, I decided to make some New Year’s resolutions. I’ve always really sucked at New Year’s resolutions. I mean, really. Tomorrow, I will explain a new approach I am taking this year which I think is helping to some degree.
Thank you for joining along with me in this journey.